Elspeth the Living Dead Girl: The Art of Teen Girl Flirting by Stuart West
I'm happy to turn my blog over to Stuart R. West. He'd like to talk a little about his new book, ELSPETH THE LIVING DEAD GIRL. Or more accurately, about the voice within the book.
Take it away, Stuart.
Thanks so much,
Kai, for having me on your blog.
Elspeth the
Living Dead Girl is my newest novel.
One live girl, one dead, both sharing the same body. It’s complicated.
Elspeth is a take no prisoners tough gal, dead, plucked from Limbo to take over
Elizabeth’s body to bring down a high school drug dealer. On the other hand,
Elizabeth is an ice princess, a future dominator of the world. All she wants to
do is marry Prince Charming, make a couple million bucks, and most importantly,
become prom queen. Very different agendas.
You know, I’m
probably not the most logical choice to be the biographer of these two very
different teen girls. I’m a 53 year old male. What do I know, right? But as
Elizabeth channels Elspeth, the two girls pretty much channeled through me as
well. All of my past protagonists have been male. This book was daunting to
write, yet I had loads of fun writing this tale. The book’s told via a twin
narrative of the teen gals. And they pretty much wrote themselves. I couldn’t
stop them.
When my wife
read it, she flipped out, asked me, “How did you learn so much about how teen
girls flirt?” I said, “I didn’t. They told me.”
Here. Elizabeth
is taking on a “project,” teaching her new friend-in-training how to deal with
boys:
Next up in my tutorial
came the fine art of flirting, a true talent bestowed upon very few girls. Not
only was it fun, but if done properly, it was an amazing way to get boys to do
things for you.
“Okay, Addie, how would
you approach a boy?” I asked her at our initial training session.
She swayed back and
forth uncertainly in her flats. “I don’t know. I guess I’d go up to him and ask
him if he’s going to the spring formal—”
“Wrong!” I turned the full-length mirror toward her.
“Addie, pretend your image is the boy you desire.” I quickly put a stop to her
eye rolling with a glare. “First, you never act desperate! Desperation is a
tool reserved for those lacking in self-confidence. You may as well wear a
sign, saying, ‘I’m desperate! Someone—anyone—date
me!’”
“Elizabeth, I don’t
know—”
“I know, Addie. That’s why you have me.” I
flashed my perfect teeth at her. “Okay, now sashay!”
“Um, what?”
“Sashay! Sashay in front of the boy, taking extra care to not look him in the eyes.”
“Okay.” Addison moved
her hips back and forth like she’d lost her point of gravity. She turned to me,
giggling. “Elizabeth, I feel silly.”
“You do look silly. Who taught you how to
sashay, anyway? Madame Olga of the house of ill-repute?”
Addison snorted,
attempting to cover the uncouth sound with her hand.
“Okay, we do not sashay like common hos. Watch.” I
walked toward the mirror, chin jutting out, shoulders balanced and back, legs
close together, eyes locked firmly in front of me. I paused in front of the
mirror, flung my hair back before continuing. “Did you see what I did there?”
“Wow…yeah.” I had totally earned the
admiration in her voice.
“Now you try.” It took
Addison longer than two hours before she mastered the subtle, yet classy,
sashay. And this was only the first lesson in how to deal with boys. A slow
student, but I felt she’d be worth the effort.
“Where did you learn how
to do that, Elizabeth?”
“I suppose I learned a
lot of it from my mother. She’s a bona fide trophy wife. We could both learn a
lot from her. Okay, once you get the boy’s attention, what do you do next?”
Addison stared into the
mirror, a goofy smile plastered across her face. “Hi! I’m Addison. Are you
going to the dance?”
“Wrong!” I clapped my hands together loudly, startling her. “Addie,
Addie, Addie, what are we going to do with you?” Although the question was
rhetorical, I stared at her expectantly, letting her realize the severity of
her situation. “Here’s what you do next…nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
“Huh.”
“Once you master the first steps, and it will
take practice and determination, you might try a backward glance, followed by a
brief smile—mouth closed, no teeth showing. But since you’re a beginner, just
skip that part for now.”
“But what if it puts him
off?”
I hung my head, shaking
it like a bobblehead. “Addie, do you trust
me?” She nodded emphatically, her eyes wide with adulation. “Fine. You
obviously don’t know boys. It’s bred into their nature to enjoy a challenge.
They have to think they’re the ones in charge, the ones who make the conquest.
So, we let them think that. What they don’t know is we’re the ones who pull the
strings on these silly little would-be macho marionettes.”
Addison laughed.
“Just trust me, Addie.
You repeat this first step several times—just like treating your hair, wash,
rinse, repeat—and soon, they’ll be chasing you around, doting on your every
word and command.”
***
Did I capture it or not,
you be the judge. But prepare yourself for mystery, comedy, drama, suspense,
and, I hope, a few tissues as well.
Elspeth the
Living Dead Girl:
At MuseItUp Publishing: https://museituppublishing.com/bookstore/index.php/young-adult/ya-dark-fiction/elspeth-2c-the-living-dead-girl-detail
The Tex, the
Witch Boy Trilogy:
Tex, the Witch
Boy: http://www.amazon.com/Tex-Witch-Boy-Stuart-West-ebook/dp/B00B3U5OWU/ref=la_B00B419X5C_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402858842&sr=1-2
Tex and the
Gangs of Suburbia: http://www.amazon.com/Tex-Gangs-Suburbia-Witch-Book-ebook/dp/B00E5RWBGA/ref=la_B00B419X5C_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402858842&sr=1-4
Tex and the God
Squad: http://www.amazon.com/Tex-God-Squad-Witch-Book-ebook/dp/B00H9HPIA4/ref=la_B00B419X5C_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402858842&sr=1-1
Ha! Great post!
ReplyDeleteHaving read (and loved) the book, I can attest to the fact that you nailed not only the flirting, but all the other teen-isms as well. Nicely done!
Heather, I haven't read this one yet, but I love Stuart's writing. Glad you stopped by.
DeleteThanks Heather! I must say it was an interesting experiment. Now I feel the need to cleanse myself by writing a grown-up protagonist.
DeleteI am so looking forward to reading this book. As soon as I catch up with my backlog. Love the cover too.
ReplyDeleteAren't Stuart's books great? It is always nice when you can just know you will like a new book from an author. Thanks for visiting, Beverly.
DeleteThank you Beverly. Hope you enjoy the book.
DeleteLove this post! Got this one on my TBR list.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who envies full-time book reviewers? 'Cause...I could read these great books so much faster if I was reading full-time. ;) Good to see you, Katie.
DeleteThanks for the kind words, Katie.
DeleteAnd, thank you, Kai, for hosting me and the girls.
Happy to have you, Stuart.
DeleteThis is nice post which I was awaiting for such an article and I have gained some useful information from this site. Thanks for sharing this information.
ReplyDeleteteen flirt