February 2, 2012

Romance, History…and Science? First Love with Kevin J. Doyle

Prior to meeting, dating and marrying my wife; I never had any other girlfriends.

Before me, my wife had zero boyfriends.

Okay, neither of those statements is true.  But I like to pretend they are. So when romantic history comes up in casual conversation with friends and family, my wife and I have a running joke where we say we are each other’s first and only boyfriend/girlfriend.  Truthfully - it’s only me trying to promote such a false reality.  She simply smiles saying ‘he likes to imagine there was never anyone else’.

It’s all in good fun of course.  Honestly, I’m not crazy or jealous - neither is my wife.  I know each of us has had prior relationships.  I just choose not to acknowledge them.  No laughing over old pictures; no reminiscing about memorable things which happened with him or her.  In fact, I’m not ashamed to admit that many years ago - I went so far as to purge my parents’ family photo albums of all shots of me with any ex-girlfriend.  Actually, I probably should be embarrassed of such a silly action.  But in my noble mind, I did it to protect my future wife from being confronted with those unnecessary images.  Yes, I clipped the evidence of exes from my life yet I realize they are still back there.  Even after an ostrich puts his head in the sand, the lurking cheetah remains ready to bite him. For this blog piece, I’ll momentarily remove my head from the sand and share the love by taking a quick peek at my romantic history.  Holler if you see any cheetahs!

Two instances quickly come to mind when I dredge up first love memories.  I can recall fifth grade when I met a girl under a bridge near my elementary school.  Our purpose was to decide if we should go together.  She stood VERY far away from me.  I bumbled out some silly mumblings about her friends, my friends, whatever.  It didn’t go well.  What was the lesson there?  Be more confident around ladies.  Several years later, I had my first kiss. (With a different girl, by the way.  Never gained enough confidence to land that bridge gal.)  All I know is: the kiss happened outdoors, it was insanely windy and her hair was completely in the way.  The whole thing was quite poorly executed.  Lesson?  When possible, kiss indoors.

Sure, I discovered a few things after those classic awkward failures.  Over time, as other gals came and went, more lessons may or may not have been learned.  But really, what’s it all mean?  Do a guy’s first love experiences have to shape him or is it more like romantic science, not history?  Let’s see what happens if we mix A with B... YIKES!  Quick - pour it out!  How about A with C?  Hmmmm, not bad, let’s study it more.  (Time passes)  Well, the mix isn’t hurting anyone; however it is clear the compounds are not going to create anything meaningful.  Let’s move on.  And on and on.  Once the perfect combination is obtained (which I’m blessed to have found with my wife), don’t the volatile, unstable and unsuccessful past concoctions become irrelevant?

I think the answer is yes.  That’s why I purged the pictures.  And why I put on this comedic ruse imagining my wife and I have only ever been with each other.  Now, let me try restating those opening sentences:

Prior to meeting, dating and marrying my wife; I participated in some “romantic science experiments” but until her - I never knew true love.

Before me, my wife had zero boyfriends.

There.  Those are much better now.

-Kevin J. Doyle

P.S.  Thank you so much for reading my guest post and a huge thanks to Kai for giving me a spot on her blog!

[Kevin lives in Kansas with his true love wife and their two amazing kids (big sis and little bro).  He’s a stay home dad, a staff writer at www.knowonder.com and can be found on his own interweb space here.  He’s also starting to feel silly about speaking of himself in the third person.  So he’s going to stop doing that now.]  

4 comments:

  1. Aw, what a sweet story! It's so true that once the right mix is found, the past kind of ceases to exist.

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    1. It's funny too, because if you change any part of that equation, it changes the outcome. One small decision in your past could have led you in a different direction. Boggles the mind.

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  2. Too right! Take it back one generation and your head will literally explode. Once upon a time, my dad had a decision to make: banking job in Wichita, KS or teaching job in San Diego, CA. He picked Wichita. Thus I grew up in the Mid-West rather than So-Cal. But 36 yrs later, I love my wife and kids more than anything! Romance, Science, History... aaah my aching head...

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  3. Romance, Science, and History... and the Maths. If we ponder "what are the odds" for a moment, that's when my head explodes.

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