Commencement Speech - The Human Experience
Let’s face it, it’s unlikely I will ever be asked to give a
commencement speech, but this time of year all the You Tube links to
inspirational speeches show up in my news feed and my very own son graduates
high school in a few days, so I was inspired to give a commencement speech
regardless of the lack of venue. Pretend we are in an auditorium packed with
family, friends, and-most importantly-graduates. The Principal/Dean steps to
the lectern…
***
Today we present our graduates with a woman who is a wife, a
mother, an author, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, an employee, and a friend.
Welcome Kai Strand.
*Applause*
Thank you to the faculty, staff, parents, family, friends,
and students for the warm welcome. You may be wondering why I’m standing here
in front of you today. I don’t have major accomplishments to tout; such as,
organizing clean water for people in remote African villages, or providing warm
coats for homeless children. I don’t even have an impressive degree to accredit
me. I spend my days working a couple different jobs, raising children,
coordinating efforts with my husband to keep our family functional, and picking
up dog poop. I’m a very average person. Which is the point, really.
Of those of you who eagerly wait the moment you move your
tassel across the mortarboard, many of you have grand dreams and endless
ambition. You hope to change the world. Maybe you plan to become a scientist, a
politician, a doctor, or a lawyer. To discover new technology, pass
groundbreaking law, cure cancer. And some of you will do just that.
But most of you, like me, will live ordinary lives. As the
years progress, you’ll have several jobs, some of which you’ll like a lot, most
that you wont. Maybe you’ll report to someone or you’ll be the one others
report to. I’ve been both. Over the course of your lives you’ll buy cars, maybe
a house or two, you might get married and raise a family. There will be points
in your life where you’ll struggle to make ends meet and each meal will include
either potatoes or pasta – the only foods you can afford. Luckily, there will
likely be periods where you are flush and able to buy speedboats or tour
Europe. Or maybe you’ll be satisfied with being able to afford a daily
Starbucks indulgence. This ebb and flow in life is normal. Very normal.
But you know what? Even normal people make a difference.
Each day, when you go to work, or stop to pick up groceries, or browse for your
next pleasure read at the bookstore, you will interact with people. You will
talk about important things or make casual observations. Your words, your
attitude, your actions will impact each and every person you meet. You will
inspire a person or tear them down with a simple response to the service they
provide. Holding a door open for the weary person behind you might be all he or
she needs to walk into the lab where they’ve seen countless failures. All they
need to cure cancer.
Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Eleanor Roosevelt, they did not
live in a bubble. When they weren’t changing the world, they lived mundane
lives and were impacted, inspired by every day people.
Recently a woman told me I inspire her. She has several
novels started and not a single one finished. I think that I finish novels
impresses her more than the fact that I have twelve novels published. When she
admitted to her inability to finish novels, I felt a familiar tug of empathy.
Finishing is hard. So I shared some tips of how I push myself through to the
end. It was a nice conversation. And you know, it isn’t the first time I’ve
been told, “you’ve inspired me.” No matter how many times I hear it, I react
the same way. I cock my head and stare, like a curious kitten. It always takes
a little longer for the meaning of the words to compute in my head. Even more
surprising than the fact that my actions or words have resonated within someone
is the fact that someone is watching. As an author I have a public persona. One
I work hard on. Being quippy on Twitter takes a lot of effort. Yet even after
all the hours I pour into making sure people are watching me, I’m still
surprised to learn people are watching me. Let me tell you, people are watching
you too. Not just your mother, or the brother who loves to hold things over
your head, but your four year old niece, the quiet employee you work with on
Thursday afternoons, the sales associate at the bookstore where you buy all
your reading material, the professor who you’ll eventually hit up for a
reference letter.
Even my ordinary life has had extraordinary moments. At the
tender age of thirteen I traveled alone to France to spend the summer with a
family I didn’t know. In my mid-twenties I visited Dublin, Ireland to hire and
train an employee at a brand new manufacturing plant. Of course, as a mother,
there were four life-altering moments when each of my children was born. But
there was also my freshman year in high school when a boy I’d known my entire
life, died from injuries he’d suffered from falling off his bicycle. And then
when my roommates and I lost many of our treasured childhood belongings in a fire.
There was that time my boss called me at home to ask me if the rumors she’d
heard about me quitting were true – and that she was pretty sure the rumor
about me sneaking off to empty hotel rooms with the bellboys, wasn’t true. Each
of the extraordinary moments—whether good or bad—all had one thing in common.
Me.
I controlled my reactions. The words I used. The impression
I left. I chose if I wanted to learn something from the experience or just be
sad or bitter or gloating. As I rose to the occasion, or stayed strong, or
restrained my anger—the whole time—there were people watching. Though I usually
never thought about that aspect of it. If I was a homesick 13 year old or, like
now, a nervous 51 year old giving a (fake) commencement speech, I am the
constant in the equation. And regardless of if your aspiration is to be an
astronaut or a schoolteacher, or if you go on to inspire a cashless economy or
work at the dollar store, if you achieve your doctorate or never step into a
classroom again, our human experience is the common denominator. Always.
Every day, every one of you will make a difference in large
or small ways. You will—you do—change the course of life by who you are.
I challenge you to consciously be a positive influence on this world in your
day-to-day life while you work toward that big change your livelihood will
make. Go off and do big things, but in the mean time, do a lot of really great
small things.
Wow! Well said. I'm inspired. I also think your speech would inspire young people who are eager to begin their "new" life. Maybe one day you'll be invited to share your wisdom with those facing a new challenge. Thank you for starting my day with positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it inspired you & set your day off on a positive track. Thanks for reading.
DeleteI love that you thought to do this. And who knows, maybe you'll get to say this aloud at a commencement ceremony some day. :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha. Never know!
DeleteVery nice. Best commencement speech I have heard/read (and I have heard a lot of them). The thought that resonated with me was that the simple every day things really do make the biggest difference.
ReplyDeleteI too am in my fifties and mother & step-mom of a blended family of six children, the youngest one is 15. As a parent just putting up with the u-tube videos they like to watch and encouraging them to take a risk and go out for the swim team may not seem to matter to them but they end up being huge.
As writers we struggle to stay connected to the "real world" and work to fight demons by banging on our keyboards. It can be lonely and frustrating. Yet if we just finish and then find the courage to allow others to read, critique, and help publish our work we will make a difference in the world. I haven't read a good book yet that hasn't helped me become a better person in some way.
Thanks for the inspiration.
I'm glad you found inspiration here, Marilyn. I completely agree that a book read and enjoyed will change us in some way. Excellent point! Thanks for stopping in.
DeleteI'd love to listen to this speech! Sure beats all the ones I've listened to over the years. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to listen to this speech! Sure beats all the ones I've listened to over the years. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Eleanor! And thanks for visiting the blog.
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